How to be More Intentional with your Time as a Stay at Home Mom
“JC, how do you have time to attend grad school, take care of your home, be a supportive wife and engaged mother, blog, run, and manage to be involved in so many church and community ministries?”
When I receive questions like this, what I really hear is “what are you neglecting?” because I really can’t be doing it all. Not well anyway. The answer is no, I don’t do it all every day. I prioritize my timing, and sometimes things just don’t get done.
My husband and I made the decision to have me stay at home when my son was born. It was the best choice for our family, and I realize how blessed we are to have this option. But from the beginning, I felt like I never had time for anything else. Caring for a newborn is a blessing, so we shouldn’t pressure ourselves to do much beyond the basics. But the world didn’t stop turning. I am quite the extrovert and love to be involved in many different things. I felt like the person I was (and am) was slowly drifting away. I needed to set rhythms and routines in place that would allow me lend my personality and desires to minister in purposeful ways.
I have to have purpose. In fact, I’ve written a whole post on finding purpose in the everyday. If you have ever felt this way, I want to encourage you – little changes have put me in a much more productive place, and I know you can implement these changes too!
{Enjoying a picnic}
GIVE YOURSELF AN OUTLET
Many moms think that caring for their kids is all they can do. Or, all they should do. Nope! I needed something that would allow me to serve, minister, create, and engage. And sing. I have to sing. For me this looks like singing with the Mississippi Meistersingers three times a year. It requires a few weeks of rehearsal each time, and my husband and mother-in-law are always happy to watch Baby Bounds during this time. I also write. Whether this is a Bible study that I feel God is asking me to put to pen or a blog post just sharing my everyday life to encourage you, I can use words to minister to people and be a creative outlet for my family.
IDENTIFY LIES
Lies are limiting and powerfully influence the way you think. Perhaps you have said this:
“I can’t get ____________ done because of ____________.”
I assumed that something would happen that would make life difficult. I couldn’t make phone calls, send an email, run errands, or do housework because something would inevitably happen. Why bother? Many times I manifested problems by looking for distractions or detractors. I made things hold me back so I wouldn’t be disappointed when they fell through. I let fear dictate my life, and that had to stop immediately.
{Silly lunch dates}
GET ORGANIZED (ONE STEP AT A TIME)
Home management is still my hottest mess with a toddler on the loose and me traveling for work several days a week. I take this one in stride. I set one small, manageable organizational task per week. By implementing and automating systems, my brain was freed up to focus on other things like simply being more present with my son or walking the dogs.
{Fro-yo fun}
STOP MAKING EXCUSES
I don’t “feel like it”. There are a lot of things I don’t feel like doing that I still manage to do. Life doesn’t slow down for me to feel like doing things. If I want to accomplish things and live a life of purpose while still being a stay at home mom, I had to stop blaming other people and things and steward my time wisely. Start by changing the way you think. I know that’s easier said than done, but the Bible assures us we will have a battlefield in our minds. We have to learn how to fight with truth and Truth.
{Playing at the park}
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What about you, sweet friend? Do you struggle with time management? Let me know where you are in your struggles in the comments, and we will share a little encouragement with one another.