What No One Told Me About Being a Stay at Home Mom

In January 2019 I quit my full-time job to become a stay at home mom. I never had any intention of being a stay at home parent. I had (have) big dreams and career aspirations. But after becoming pregnant with Liam, I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt I wanted to stay home with my baby.

I struggled for many months as I tried to develop an ever-changing routine. I have no systems in place and no idea what to do all day. Truthfully, no two stay at home moms do the same thing. I can guarantee you this: she does much more than watch her children all day. That is what brought this post into being. I wanted to share with you what no one told me about being a stay at home mom.

WHAT IS A STAY AT HOME MOM?

A stay at home mom is someone who stays home during the day to raise her children and manage their homes. A mom may have one or more children at any age, newborn through high school. In recent years, most stay at home moms left the workforce to raise their children. Some may be highly educated career women and plan to reenter the workforce after a child has reached school age.

2020 increased the number of stay at home parents with the need for homeschooling. In addition to that increase, some stay at home parents are also working from home too.

No matter how you look at it, the role of stay at home mom is continuously evolving.

WHAT DOES A STAY AT HOME MOM DO?

A stay at home mom wears many hats including teacher, chef, nurse, playmate, housekeeper, and accountant. Each mom has her own schedule and idea of how to run her home. I can promise you this: she is not sitting at home watching reality TV all day. There are practices, appointments, meetings, and errands. She is taking care of the home and the children (and in my case, six pets!)

Some may not consider being a stay at home mom a real job, but I am here to tell you I have never worked harder, had a more demanding boss, or had less pay. But the benefits are so worth it!

However, there are so many things no one told me about being a stay at home mom.

1. Being a stay at home mom is not for everyone. It is an intensely personal decision. My son is the sweetest and funniest little fella ever, but he certainly works the nerves. Always energetic, playful, and a risk-taker, he can be overwhelming quickly. I am not known for my patience, but somehow I am able to keep it together for him. The baby years go by so quickly, and I did not want anyone else to raise him and enjoy his firsts. I do understand that sometimes it is not possible to stay home with your child even if you want to. Finances and other factors play a huge part in determining who stays home and who works. Do what works best for you and your family, but don’t be afraid to take the risk. Bills still get paid even if we are on a tighter budget.
2. We don’t have to stay home. Liam and I have been going on adventures since he was a newborn allowed to go in public. We try to go somewhere once a week even if it’s just to my dad’s house. We went out to lunch at Chik-fil-a, visited the library, played at the local park, and have scheduled bigger adventures like children’s museums and a dinosaur exhibit. There are lots of fun (and free!) adventures to be found if we look for them.
3. I don’t think my home has ever been messier. Being home with my toddler makes my home an absolute mess. I cannot stay ahead. If I try to move clothes from the washer to the dryer Liam has already poured an entire bottle of olive oil all over himself and the kitchen floor. If I fold said laundry, he jumps on it or throws it around the room. If I try to clean the bathroom, he will be in there taking everything out of the drawers and cabinets. It’s best to leave things messy just to prevent further messes!
4. You never get off work. There’s never the sense of leaving the day behind you. Even when my husband gets home, I’m still Liam’s mommy. Although I have been known to say “Here’s your kid” and run to my Jacuzzi bathtub, I’m still at “work”. The house is my office, and my kid is my job.
5. I can still do other things. I am working on my writing endeavors, blogging, and planning out Bible study content. I try to stay active on social media encouraging other moms to enjoy everyday life. I am meal planning. Playdate-ing. Planning church ministry projects. And it’s okay!
6. It can be lonely. I am an extrovert and very social, so time alone with a toddler can be very suffocating. It helps to blog and talk to friends as much as possible. And I’m pretty sure my mother-in-law is quite sick of me too! She sees me more than any other adult, and I talk her head off. 

These years at home with Liam are a blessing. This is time I will never get back. I am so thankful that I am able to stay home with my little man. I know being a stay at home mom is not for everyone, but I wanted to share my insider thoughts on what no one told me. I hope that it can encourage and educate you to help you make a more informed decision.

So tell me, are you a stay at home mom too?